Reply With Quoteyer but dont you have to be 18 to go to horse races
I got this in an e-mail today so I'll throw it up....
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake.
To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician,
'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied .
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.
You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
yer but dont you have to be 18 to go to horse races
it's a joke not real.....do you seriously think 'little johnny' gets up to all those antics!!!!
and it was a school excursion, proabably some deal the kids were allowed in as long as they didn't bet!
MOUSE CALIBRATION
You should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended by Kim Kommando (the computer guru) if you spend a lot of time on the computer.
I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was!
To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below, then drag the Y toward the g.
If it doesn't work immediately, you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off.
You dumb ass. You'll believe anything
I'M SURE YOU WILL ALSO RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE YOU SEE HOW MUCH SMOOTHER AND BETTER THE MOUSE WORKS�AFTER BEING CALIBRATED! AMAZING..
The other night I was at a club, saw a really hot woman, so I go over and start talking to her,
"what's your name" I said
she replied "Carmen, it's made up of the two things I like the best, cars and men"
she then asked me what my name was?
to which I replied "beerc*nt"!!!
what did one condom say to the other as they walked past the gay bar???
want to go in and get shitfaced???
I will finish ,One day.
I slept with my girlfriends younger sister. She found out
and said "you disgust me"
I said "we never discussed you at all!"
Went around to my girlfriends last night
"make yourself at home" she said
apparently stripping naked and furiously w*nking over the bra's and things catalog
wasn't what she had in mind!
I've been so depressed lately that my wife threatened to leave me.
even that didn't cheer me up!
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America, uncertainty has now hit Japan, in the last seven days
the origami bank has folded
the sumo bank has gone belly up
the bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches
the karaoke bar is up for sale and will probably go for a song
while today shares in the kamikaze bank nose dived
the samurai bank meanwhile is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks
the ninja bank has taken a hit, but remains in the black
furthermore 500 people at the karate bank got the chop and
analysts report there is something fishy going on over at the sushi bank, where it is feared the staff may get a raw deal.
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