Official JOKE Thread

[riojin]

This is AE86DC's new OFFICIAL JOKE THREAD

Post as many jokes as you like. HOWEVER if your joke/s arent funny or in bad taste don't worry, we'll let you know through some harsh criticism and will expect you to not post again until you have something truely humorous to share.

Keep in mind that racism won't be tolerated on this forum.

Have fun

[Klutch]

lulz

saw it coming though

[flamingheads]

That was cool.
Only an old lady could get away with it tho.

[Fozz]

lol entertaining read

[driftke70]

this dude is going away on holiday, and his wifes pretty randy and he worries about her cheating on him when he's away, so he thinks to himself, ill just go to the sex shop, and pick her up something to keep her occupied while I'm away.

Anyhoo he goes down to the store and after a lengthy discussion with the owner of the shop, he reaches a verdict,

"my friend by the sounds of it your wife is very randy, there is only one thing i can think of, the voodo dildo, its got a special spell on it, and it will do what ever you tell it to do, so he says, voodoo dildo, door, and it flies through the air and tries to pound the viewing hole on the door. So he says, voodoo dildo, back in the box.

Anyway the man goes home happy, explains to his wife how she will be satisfied while hes away,
she drops him at the airport and on the way home, says to her self ,i can't wait to put that voodoo dildo in my pussy, and out it shoots out of the box on the passenger seat and straight in, she is overwhelmed with pleasure and swerving all over the road and eventually pulls over at a wierd angle on the side of the road.

A cop pulls up and says what the hell is going on here, she tries to explain to him and he just says

Ha! voodoo dildo my ass!

[riojin]

Speeding Ticket

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago fo r drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars c ircle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of yo ur vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murde red the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The off icer examines the li cense. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't hav e a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

[callum1]

why are pirates greedy?





they just aaaarrrrrrrrr

hehe

[biggo]

why does beyonce sing to the left, too the left?

cos black people don't have rights! hahahahaaaa

[Klutch]

i roflmao'd

[maxhag]

Why did god create Yeast Infections?



So woman would know what it's like to live with an irritating cun t once in a while.....