Work Place War

[DRFTPG]

Lately at work all of us in the kitchen have been having a bit of a chilli war :lol: putting chilli on the lids of eachothers drinks....things like that. I even went as far as putting chilli on my bosses water bottle and then filling it with vinegar so not only did it burn his lips but fucked up his throat as well :P

So whats your stories? surely I'm not the only one that gets to have fun at work lol

[Javal]

I worked at AJPS once.

Every day = battle of wits

battle of words
battle to get the fuck out of bed.

you get the idea.
good fun though.

[Beau]

i work for the bank its only a battle of words, and me real annoying the higher paid losers that no squat and are put in there place by some Ben Sherman wearing, tattoo'd, ear spaced wannabe Constatine kid! i giggle and win the hearts of secartys and slam red bull down go dam i love having triple shots of vodka at lunch! no one is the wiser or are they?

[Clinton]

^^^lmao

[Bustin_86]

I work for the government, everybody else is like over 40 so don't have much fight left in them... Closest thing i get to a work place war is shitfighting on the forums :P

Though in the Kyouteki office we regularly get slapped in the face with breasts of extremely hot supermodels. Its true.

[dustyae86]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Bustin_86 @ Feb 15 2008, 01:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> (index.php?act=findpost&pid=486485)</div>
I work for the government, everybody else is like over 40 so don't have much fight left in them... Closest thing i get to a work place war is shitfighting on the forums :P

Though in the Kyouteki office we regularly get slapped in the face with breasts of extremely hot supermodels. Its true.[/b]

always give shit to the apprentice... good fun... no seat belts on road tests... or put him in the boot and slam on the brakes etc

[Bustin_86]

Lol!

Glad i don't work with you.

[Clinton]

when i was working at surf toyota(fags) we used to mess up everyones tool boxes and stuff. we got this guys tool box up probly about 25 metres into one of the rafters with a rope and left it up there. weve also got the white contact shit that you get on brand new cars when they get delivered and wraped tool boxes to walls and doors and benches. you get the heat gun for wiring and melt all the plastic and its almost imposible to get off. its real funny watching the dudes trying to get there shit lol

[dustyae86]

glue spanners to benches

[Beau]

thats excellent!

[keto]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (oni-70 @ Feb 15 2008, 12:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> (index.php?act=findpost&pid=486477)</div>
i work for the bank its only a battle of words, and me real annoying the higher paid losers that no squat and are put in there place by some Ben Sherman wearing, tattoo'd, ear spaced wannabe Constatine kid! i giggle and win the hearts of secartys and slam red bull down go dam i love having triple shots of vodka at lunch! no one is the wiser or are they?[/b]

bahaha :lol:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>
here's a good one from when i was at the tire shop

mate was pissing me off when i was fitting up a tire for his spare...

got my hands on his phone, then proceeded to put the phone inside the tire and then fit the tire...left it deflated...

he couldnt work out where his phone was till he called it and the tire started ringing....LOL[/b]

oh christopher ;)

[DRFTPG]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (4agteketo @ Feb 15 2008, 02:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> (index.php?act=findpost&pid=486534)</div>
here's a good one from when i was at the tire shop

mate was pissing me off when i was fitting up a tire for his spare...

got my hands on his phone, then proceeded to put the phone inside the tire and then fit the tire...left it deflated...

he couldnt work out where his phone was till he called it and the tire started ringing....LOL[/b]

hahahha well done!!

we have a (very hot) but very ditsy waitress and she has a really weak stomach, so i swapped the coffee container (coffee goes in an ice cream container) with a container that looks the same but is full of rotten veges. she opened it and ran out the back and was dry reaching, very funny

[AEE86]

Everyone at my office carries laptops when they go out to customers, the guys thought it would be funny to staple A4 sized lewd photos to the inside of my bag.

I got out to a customers office then proceeded to open my bag - out comes a photo of a chick in full spread position, luckily the customer saw the funny side ;)

[wide s13]

theres a bloke at work we always pull shit on each other like hiding in big cartons and jumping out and scaring
people including the boss & truckies bahahaha also throwing shit and tricks. like stapling clothing to other shit and fragile tape ect.
we had 1week to collect the most pens off truck drivers hahahaha
we ended up with like 200pens :)
also usual glue and nails etc.

the older women on the floor we find out very sexual things lol
bit weird there 40+ but funny never the less

[driftke70]

i'd need a few hours to type up a list.

[mc68]

mainly paying out the new guy at work because he can't get into a car if its on the hoist (he's just too much of a fatty) or get things under a dash.

with my boss its always, always blowing a horn if the other person is under a bonnet, we both seem to get it done so often yet we always forget..one time he threw a firecracker at my feet when i was welding...so i got him back by sticking the hose through the vent in the toilet whilst he was on it...

i got shit jobs for a week.

[r3zzz4]

Had a mate fill up one of his tradsmans toolboxs with expanda-foam not long ago.

He got all his tools glued to the bench (usual tricks) so he went all out, worked back one arvo and put all the guys tools in his toolbox, locked it and drilled a 8mm hole in the lid. Then proceeded to empty 6 cans of foam into it (600x400x400 toolbox) and went home.

Next day, split the toolbox and welded all his tools into a massive blob of rock hard foam. Took days to get them out and remove the foam till they were usable again.

Was hilarious when the guy realised that he'd just been pawned by his apprentice.

[Gilly]

Me Vs Langston

when i first started i would finf my locker upside down or swapped around with another (in a room of 100+ lockers) i let it slide as i was the new guy.

came in one day from out on bay to find my locker sitting on bay 41 next to an aircraft with 4 or 5 engineers standing around with puzzled looks on their faces. i had to go and drag it back into the lunchroom to the laughs of my peers (was fkn gold though)

years passed and Scotty found a new victim in Hendo

Hendo comes to me asking for help in planning a locker assault on Scotty.

First i removed Scotty's lock and replaced it with an identical lock (obviously cut to accept a different key) i then proceeded to ziptie the latch of the locker shut. Scotty came to work the next day and i was told by a witness (in on it) what occured

Scotty first had a laugh and proceeded to cut off the zipties whilst dissing the feeble attempt at refusing him entry. once all ties were removed he struggled to get his key to fit, the struggle lasted 3-4 minutes and ended with a handful of expletives and a locker kick. Scotty then saw fit to obtain the bolt cutters and removed said "faulty" lock. Now scotty was pretty pisssed at this point so opened his locker much more aggressively than normal, which would have been fine had i not put a 2 litre ice cream bucket full of water on the top shelf in his locker and tied it to the door.....

opening the door = extreme wetness

[orange32]

At my old job (inghams factory), I was bored as hell, so i cut up a sticker that said "LOOSE BULK", and turned it into "LOOSE BITCH". I went over to one of the girls packing and put it on the back of her shirt. After about 10 mins, the old bitches that worked there finally saw it and got real mad and started yelling and shit. They called the supervisor over and I was going to get sent down to the plant manager's office but they decided to let me go with a warning.

All the blokes found it hilarious though.

Moral of the story: Old bitches suck

[Sturgey]

lol when i worked at maccas we used to have the biggest pickle fights
pickle + tomato sauce + mustard = pickles stuck to everything
ended when the manager got hit in the head :\

[blair]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (sturgey @ Feb 17 2008, 09:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> (index.php?act=findpost&pid=487860)</div>
lol when i worked at maccas we used to have the biggest pickle fights
pickle + tomato sauce + mustard = pickles stuck to everything
ended when the manager got hit in the head :\[/b]

obviously you werent there long...

beetroot stains :D

[mike86]

Work for me is a battle of racist jokes. We have 2 poms 1 south african 1 indian and two aussies. If you leave anything of yours un-watched it gets glued with enough resin to make if fun to get off. Mobile phones are always a funny one shoes and eskys too.

[reuben]

I work in a super market at the moment, filled in a shift in seafood the other night. the person who i was working with was being an ass. So i got a styrofoam box filled it up with ice and water, put it on the lid of the ice machine that sits horizontal then goes down vertical when you close it. At the end of the night he gets on his tippy toes and unlatched the lid of the ice machine (he is short). down comes a box of freeeeeezing cold water. He looks at me. I laugh. He runs at me yelling at carrying on. I laugh and run... heheheh. He now rerfuses to work with me. :lol: