Offtopic Thread 2010

[Gunner]

you be the romantic little milf fucking romeo, and pay for that bitch's a coffee.


Since we're on the subjectLast monday on the public holiday, I got an email from a 46yr cougar with a rather well attatched image, so anyway, no need to go into how this woman knew how to contact me, but she wanted to fuck, i was up for it. Usually my cut off age is 35, this ensures no feral wrinkly bitches.But on this occaision i let slide wrooooooooong move MrRhys. So 1 clock comes by, I'm standing at the door of some flash homebush apartment on baywater drive, and bam, this bitch has hit menopause, and she aint that good lookin, gun body but poor head.

So me being the nice cunt fucker that i am, walked in with my fresh back of specials and a bottle of coke (yeah i know, but i dont drink n drive) So we sat down had a bit of a chat, and i really didnt wanna do this anymore, the cut of is 35 for a fucking reason I keep telling myself. SO we get to a bit of kissin and rubbin, got the g banger off, and had a bit of a munch, the chuba is coming along, so this bitch (still dont know her name and dont want to, i was intructed to call her Ms Sexy, meh no worries) starts on the gobby, and my boy is awake ready to go, this bitch slides the dommy on, stick it in and bam, he's done the runner, now I am a verile yound man, a sexaholic i have been called, supposedly part of my condition, anyway, this shit just doesn't happen, if its got two legs and pussy, doesn't even need a pulse, ill fuck it, so anyway this bitch starts getting cut, cause he won't perform for her, so I assure her its just nerves and start 4 finger fucking her, and a thumb in her ass, and this bitch cums like i have NEVER experienced, I have had squirters but not a hose, I have cum up my arm, my chest, all over my poor limp dick and lap, its everywhere, its gross old bitch cum and its all over me. Turns out this bitch loves nit, and starts rubbing it in to my chest, im trying not to hurl, its not the best smelling stuff in the world you know. SO I convinced her to start sucking again so i can fuck her silly, and shit hey still no response, this shit never happens, i get a chubba when my doctor checks him over (oh how i wanna fuck her tight ass) hes an active little fella to say the least. SO I like giving oral, so i go down on her again thinking well she has a machine cunt that'll get me going, nope, nearly an hour has gone past, and im ready to leave, but this old shiela is keen to keep going, i can't say no. So I spent the 2 hours, finger fucking and growling this bitch out, fucking her ass with a dildo (which is causing her to fart continuously ), and understandibly never got a hard on, so its now 430, i need a ciggarette, this bitch wont let me smoke on the balcony, so i got dressed and left.

Now this has never happened, but I understand now that if you have an age limit stick to it. It took me 3 days to recover from that, (my next appointment with a 19 yr old) couldnt even have a bat, as this whole issue was still fresh on my mind, I was traumatised, some old not so cougar had actually scared my mojo away, it was fucked.


Gunners advice to young fellas, 35 is the limit you want set, with all women, shit has started to sag, and the only way from here on in is down, and that goes for both you and her.

[Gunner]

and to add to all that, my flash laptop fucking set its lipo battery on fire 3 days ago, and this morning the centuary old IBM thinkpad i borrowed my sister got stepped on as i got out of bed and cracked the screen woooo


Fucking bullshit.

[Vance]

i lol'd hard @ that old bitch story rhys. seriously i have been there before. i think i would go anything but there have been times when my wang has just said no.

this one time this chick (she was 22, i was 18) who was damn hot started biting my dick and scraping her teeth hard against it. my wang decided it wasnt going to accept that kind of punishment and ran away and hid

[Gunner]

lol, oh the dreaded cock biter, i have a perfect set of front teeth scars just under my knob, nothing worse.

[Vance]

if you like e30's and slutty girls check out this thread



heres a preview

[rthy]

mmm german

i cant stop laughing at this

[rthy]

not even german, romania

[biggo]

I am alive. I survived last nights floods by driving for 5 hours. I have come to the conclusion my sunroof isnt very watertight.

Is it wrong to look a girls on school holidays? For the past 2 weeks that all ive been doing.

[Gunner]

haha biggo you need red p plates, then they look at you. I know Im still on my red ps.

[KENut]

yumz