Cap heads from my lookin' around seem to all be grade 12.9 which puts them at 42Nm. What bugs me from is them saying 12.9's fail from corrosion. and you're said you've got SS cap heads, you sure they're not nickel coated?
I have the same wheels (except they're not volk or 3 piece) but I just tightened them up with a 1/2" ratchet and a short (like 4" long) allen key. That was years ago and they're still together with all fasteners intact.